When the perky blond chick at the spa counter suggested I get a facial, I didn’t know whether I to hug her or slap her. Don’t get me wrong. At my age, I believe in taking good care of my skin—cleansing, moisturizing, toning. And I do enjoy the after glow of a good facial, as long as I can avoid those cruel blackhead digging therapists who take out their relationship woes on my forehead. But the attendant at Fairmont Pacific Rim’s Willow Stream Spa in Vancouver specifically encouraged me to try a “Lift and Tone Facial,” and I kind of wanted to cry. Did I look that bad? One glance in the mirror and my skin seemed a little droopy after the six-hour flight. Hell, what did I have to lose?
Once inside the treatment room, I quickly realized this wasn’t any old facial—mostly because there was a large piece of equipment settled bedside with buttons and levers that would have looked at home in Princess Leia’s boudoir. Seeing the worried look on my face, the therapist quickly explained that my lifting facial treatment was newly developed using the Age Management System from Kerstin Florian. She said the treatment would produce immediate lifting and firming results, increasing collagen growth, reducing lines and smoothing wrinkles in a non-invasive, relaxing treatment. Why, it sounded like I’d leave looking like Nicole Kidman.
So where did the Star Wars apparatus figure in? The treatments utilize three high-performance energy technologies. The three phases include: Red LED Spectrum Light energizes and repairs cells and promotes collagen production, Impulsed MicroCurrent re-educates muscle tissue and redefines facial contours while improving elasticity and helps stimulate DNA regeneration and repair and Transdermal Delivery infuses essential nutrients into the deep layers of the skin.
My biggest concern: would it hurt? Listen, I might like it rough between the sheets, but not on the table. The therapist just grinned and got to work. 60-minutes later I was fast asleep, dreaming that I would awaken in the arms of Justin Timberlake.
Okay, so that didn’t happen. He’s probably too young for me. But that night in the lobby bar, I’m pretty sure some young Canadian hotties winked at me. If that machine can turn back the clock, I’m ready to be hooked-up any day.
Dishin’ Tip from your GBF (gay best friend): book a seaplane that leaves from right outside the hotel for the short ride to Victoria and enjoy the historic tea at the famous Fairmont Empress. They even have gluten free scones and vegan options for those with diet restrictions!
For more of Jon Paul’s travel, check out his blog Poptimistic.com.